#he only knows purple palm tree delight my dude

[asapphicmagnuschase]

argyle has absolutely no idea what’s going on and i respect that 💀💀💀

[munson-blurbs]

in honor of 4/20 i literally need a blurb of argyle rolling a blunt on reader’s ass

Your wish is my command 💚

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), fingering, unprotected p in v (wrap it up), drug use (weed obv), use of pet names

WC: 1k

The warm April air flutters through the bedroom as you sit on your bed, reading a book. California winters are never particularly harsh, but you still soak up the spring breeze, the scent of blooming flowers permeating the atmosphere. You hear the low squeak of the front door opening as your boyfriend comes in from work.

You rest your book on the nightstand, bounding over to him with an excited grin. He’s dubbed today “Stoner Christmas,” promising the best batch of Purple Palm Tree Delight that money could buy. So it’s safe to say that you’re caught off-guard when you catch the frown on his normally relaxed face.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” you ask, tucking his long hair behind his ear and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Did you not get it?”

“Nah, I got it,” Argyle says with a small smile, pulling the baggie of bud from his pants pocket. “Just had a rough day at work. Apparently, not everyone got the memo to be chill on this holiest day.”

You grab his big hand and lace your fingers with his. “Wanna talk about it?”

He shakes his head but speaks anyway. “Had a guy come in and scream in my face because we didn’t have his order. Swore up and down that he called it in, talked to someone named Pete. I was like, ‘dude, there is no one here named Pete!’ but he wouldn’t hear it. He was, like, fuckin’ frothing at the mouth, man!”

“So what happened?”

“Get this,” he chuckles incredulously. “The whole time, he had the wrong Surfer Boy. There’s another one fifteen minutes from ours, and that’s where he placed his order.” 

You grab onto his bright yellow work shirt, tugging him closer to you until his chest touches yours. “Is there anything I can do to help you…unwind?” You keep your tone salacious as you kiss him, parting his lips with your tongue. His tension dissipates at your touch, letting go of your hand to wrap his muscular arms around your waist.

“Was thinkin’,” Argyle mumbles against your mouth, “maybe I could borrow that sexy ass of yours to roll a blunt?” His cock twitches as the thought of you naked, and as soon as you nod, he’s lifting you and bringing you to the bedroom. 

His lithe fingers lift your sundress above your head, leaving you in just your panties. “No bra?” he muses, smiling as he brings his lips to your nipples and sucking lightly. “This day’s better already, baby.” He toys with the waistband of your lace thong before helping you step out of it, tossing it to the side. 

“Lay down f’me,” he says, punctuating his request with a soft smack to your ass. 

You do as he says, stomach to the sheets as you hear him fumbling with his grinder. You wiggle your ass suggestively until you catch his attention, giggling when he squeezes it.

“Patience, princesa,” Argyle orders, but there’s no malice behind it. “Gonna roll now, so you gotta stay still.” He places the thin paper atop your skin, and you feel the light weight of the flower lining its edge. “Just wanna take a bite of you…” He holds the unrolled blunt steady as his teeth sink into the plush in front of him, making you yelp. “Okay, back to business.”

His fingertips tickle you as he curls the paper inwards, rolling it with utmost precision. The only other thing he attends to with this much intent is your body. He brings it to your mouth with a knowing smirk. “Lick it.”

“This?” you ask with feigned confusion, pointing to the blunt, “or this.” You cup his prominent bulge through his pants, making him hiss at the content.

“Th-the joint first,” he manages, “and then we can find other ways to keep that pretty mouth busy.” 

Your tongue glides along the paper and he seals it, gingerly laying it on the nightstand next to the book you were reading. “We gotta wait for it to dry,” Argyle muses, eyes seemingly glued to your naked body. “Got any ideas to pass the time?”

You turn around so your lips can attach to his, and you’re practically ripping off his clothes. His pointer and middle fingers slip inside your already wet pussy as he pumps them, relishing in the noises the motion makes. “Already soaked for me, hm?” he growls, sucking on your neck. 

“A-All for you,” you whimper, feeling your walls clench around his digits before he withdraws them. “Why—”

“Hands and knees.” He doesn’t need to say anything else, just stroking himself languidly using your slick as lube while you get into position. His hard cock stretches you deliciously, and you both moan at the contact. 

You feel him get deeper with each thrust, and all you can do is cry out his name. 

“Thas’ right, take it like the good girl you are. Love watching your ass while I fuck you.”

“Argyle, shit, you’re gonna make me cum,” you pant, “c-can you spank me again?”

“Anything for my girl.” You can’t see his face, but you know he’s smiling as his palm meets the flesh of your ass. He quickens the snap of his hips when you groan out. “Fuck, g-gonna cum, too. Cum with me, princesa.”

He grips your hips and ruts up into you, and you finish around his cock while he fills you with his own release. Slowing his tempo, he reluctantly withdraws, his spend trickling down your inner thigh. 

“You think it’s good?” you ask as he cleans you off. 

“Huh?”

“The joint,” you remind him, gesturing towards its spot on the bedside table. “Can we smoke it now?”

“Oh, shit,” Argyle laughs, kissing your forehead. “You felt so fuckin’ perfect that I totally forgot.”

You cock your brow in disbelief. “You forgot about weed on 4/20?”

“That’s the power you have over me.” His dark eyes twinkle as he hands you the blunt and the lighter. “Ladies first.”

It’s safe to say that he insists on rolling his blunts on your ass whenever he’s given the chance. 

--

[mypoisonedvine]

PLEASE write me an argyle blurb please. Argyle lazily worshipping your body and just being so sweet and silly please

okay because he so would!!! (warnings: basically just smut and getting stoned lmao, also the reader is bi -- 18+ only)

Nice threads, señorita, that was how it all started. Just a simple compliment from the pizza delivery guy.

So you really had no excuse for how it ended up like this, fooling around in his van. You could pretend you did it for free pizza or free weed, but that would almost be more slutty than just doing it because he was hot and sweet-- like pineapple on pizza.

Not that you were complaining about the free weed and pizza. Although five free pizzas in less than two weeks of hooking up was a little excessive.

"Good shit, right?" Argyle chuckled lowly as you coughed out a massive cloud of thick smoke, filling the air in his work van with the smell of Purple Palm Tree Delight.

"Got me coughing like I'm a pot virgin or something," you laughed, covering your smile with your hand.

"You don't do anything like a virgin," he corrected with a smirk, and you bit your lip as you looked down. It's not like you didn't know how this meet-up was going to end, but his forwardness still made your cheeks heat up.

"Fair enough," you rolled your eyes, "that ship sailed a long time ago."

"Who was the guy?" he wondered, scooting closer to you as he laid back, propping his upper body up with one bent elbow.

"Who said it was a guy?" you returned with a raised eyebrow, and then it was Argyle's turn to cough.

"Damn, okay," he grinned, "I can definitely dig a chick who's into chicks-- s'long as you're still into dudes, too."

"I think I've made that pretty clear," you reminded him as you dragged your eyes over his form. When you were looking at his face again, he was a lot closer than you remembered-- so you went ahead and reached for his shoulder as you closed the gap and pressed your lips to his.

He was a shockingly good kisser-- you didn't see it coming the first time because he seemed so goofy and carefree, which he was, but he kissed like a passionate, debonair sort of guy. Honestly, when he kissed you, pulling you closer with a hand on your waist and another on the back of your neck, you felt like you were on the cover of a trashy romance novel.

Too bad they don't write romance novels about casual sex in the back of a Surfer Boy Pizza van. They would if they knew pizza boys could fuck like this.

Next thing you knew, you were handing him the joint for another puff right before he dove down between your thighs, tendrils of smoke curling in the air as he exhaled right against your impatient, clenching pussy. "Fuckin' tease," you mumbled before he finally put his mouth on you; you knocked the stupid hat off so you could tangle your fingers in his thick hair, head falling back while his tongue explored you gently.

"Best tastin' pussy ever," he smiled up at you during a moment's reprieve. "Better than--"

"I know you're not about to compare my pussy to a pizza," you warned.

"I wasn't!" he defended. "I'm just saying, if I did--"

"Shut up," you groaned, thrusting your hips back into his face, and thankfully he listened and got back to work.

He hummed as you started to moan louder, those high-pitched whines his signal that you were right on the edge. He liked to push you right to the edge and leave you teetering there as long as he could, just so you would beg him to please please Argyle, just let me come? make me come, please--

And when he did, he shut his eyes tight and sucked hard on your clit, holding onto your hips for dear life and your legs clamped down on his head.

And then, as you were coming down, he gave you a lazy kiss with the taste of your orgasm still on his tongue.

While you were still a bit limp and dreamy, Argyle held one of your hands and guided it down, rubbing the erection in his shorts against your palm.

You smiled and brought your other hand down to open the button and fly for him; "So needy," you scolded playfully.

You reached inside and wrapped your hand around him, feeling him sigh slightly against your cheek.

"You've got such a nice cock," you told him with a purr as you stroked just a bit faster, running your thumb over the slit where thin, clear fluid had gathered.

"Really? Thanks, I grew it myself," he informed you proudly, and you snorted.

"God, Argyle, don't make me laugh," you whined, shoving his shoulder with your free hand. "I'm trying to be sexy and stuff."

"Don't need to try," he promised, "you're so fuckin' sexy, just sitting there bein' all... pretty and stuff."

"Yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?" you challenged.

"Hmm, think I'm gonna make you cream on my dick and we'll work from there, how's that sound?"

You tilted your head and bit your lip, like you really had to think about it. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Argyle idea, goth chick likes his hair and asks to braid it for him and he goes 🫠🫠🫠🫠 because he’s a simp

YES! I would actually give ANYTHING to braid Eduardo's hair! 💜 Warning: getting high with Argyle and Jonathan Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Thing😊 gifs aren’t mine 😁

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Braids

You and Argyle were by far the most odd pair at the school. Everyone who saw you would agree. He was a 6'3'' very colorful teddy bear. And you, on the other hand, preferred much darker clothes and, next to him, you looked like his actual teddy bear. But maybe that’s why the two of you balanced each other out so well and you loved him so much. Or maybe it was the way he always smiled at you. Which wasn’t that much different from how he always smiled to everyone else but you still thought it was different when it was aimed at you. And Jonathan kept trying to convince you that it was.

“If I tell you guys something, do you promise not to tell anyone?” Jonathan asked, freaking out. 

“Who would we tell, Jonathan? You’re like our only friend” Argyle laughed. 

“Yeah, nobody really wants to hang out with the stoner and the goth girl” you laughed, taking the Purple Palm Tree Delight from Argyle and taking a hit and then giving it back. 

You were currently sitting upside down on the couch at Jonathan’s basement and Argyle sat on the floor next to you while Jonathan walked in circles in front of you two freaking out about something regarding Nancy. You honestly stopped paying attention a couple of minutes ago when you got lost in Argyle’s shirt colors.

“Okay, wait here” he said, going upstairs and leaving the two of you alone. 

“I feel like he needs to relax” you chuckled when the door closed. 

“I know! He’s got me stressed out and is not even my girlfriend, dude” he laughed. “What are you doing?” Argyle laughed as he felt your fingers drumming on his arm. 

“I’m counting the colors of your shirt” you told him.

“Why?”

“It soothes me” you shrugged. And then your fingers lingered over to get tangled in his hair. You absolutely loved Argyle’s hair. It was so soft and long. You could get lost in it for days. 

“What?” he smiled looking at you.  

“Nothing” you smiled brighter. 

“Yeah, right. I know when that pretty head of yours is plotting something” he said, brushing his fingers against your forehead. He was so close, you could just lean in and press your lips against his. And that’s all you wanted to do. But instead, you said something else. 

“Can I braid your hair?” you asked as he was taking another hit, making him choke a little. 

“W-what?” he coughed. “You wanna b-braid my hair?” 

“Yeah” you said, turning around and sitting up and he was now between your legs. “I mean if you’re okay with it-”

“Y-yeah, no man, that’s uh-” he cleared his throat. “That’s fine” he said as you sat right behind him and started running your fingers through his black, long, soft hair, beautiful hair. It smelled like weed and green apple. 

“Do you want like, one braid or many braids?” you asked, smiling. 

“W-whatever you want, dude” you heard him reply. If you didn’t know him better you could swear he was nervous. 

“Hey can we get some pizza?” you asked as you started separating his hair in sections to start braiding it.

“With pineapple?” 

“Yes, with pineapple” you smiled. “That’s your favorite” you said. 

“Right” he laughed nervously. 

“Are you okay?” you asked all of the sudden. 

“Mhm” he said, with his eyes already closed and he was resting his head on your leg. “That feels fucking awesome, man” he said, making you smile while you massaged his scalp. He felt like he was melting in your hands. Your touch was so soft, he didn’t want this moment to ever end.

You kept working on his braid in complete silence, something that was very unusual for the two of you, since Argyle was always talking about something. 

“Done” you said, proudly once his hair was in a beautiful braid. “Wanna see?” 

You leaned over to grab your bag from the table. You snapped him out of his thoughts when he felt you being so close to him, he moved aside a little, causing you to fall to the ground. 

“Shit! Dude, I’m sorry!” he said, worriedly, helping you up. “Are you okay?” he asked, pulling you back, onto his lap. 

“Y-yeah” you smiled shyly at him. Now it was your turn to stare, speechless.

“What?” he asked, frowning. 

“N-nothing” you said, brushing a few loose strands away form his face. “I like how you look” you blurted out. 

“I like how you look” he replied. 

“Yeah?” you smiled. 

“Yeah, man... like... always... all the time” he said, getting lost in your eyes. “Is it uh- c-can I kiss you?” 

“Really?” you asked, feeling your heart flutter and your smile got bigger. 

“I m-mean, it’s cool if you don’t want-”

“No! I mean, I- yes” you said, nodding before Argyle pressed his lips softly against yours.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as his arms pulled you closer by your waist. Everything just seemed like... it fit. Like you two somehow just fit perfectly and you never wanted it to end. 

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

The two of you jumped apart when you heard Jonathan’s voice. 

“Byers, man! You have the worst fucking timing!” Argyle complained as you buried your face on his shoulder, laughing silently. 

“You’re in my house!” 

“Can we still get pizza?” you asked, looking back at Argyle. 

“Yeah, of course, we can my dude!” he said, kissing your forehead. “Anything you want!” 

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: I hope you liked it :D

[nancys4gf]

OMg I just had an idea, what about best friend reader is in California ant the Byers house and fell asleep while watching a movie with Jonathan and argyle and while they both think reader is sleeping they're having an argument about Jonathan being in love with the reader and the at some point the reader says" I like you too" and they turn to teh reader but they're already asleep again

YESSS!! i love jonathan and argyle's dynamic and more jonathan!friends to lovers omg

̟ ̇.˚︵‿୨♡୧‿︵˚.✩

“he’s definitely going to die.”

“he’s not going to die, jeez!”

“he keeps saying emotional shit to everyone, dude,” argyle frantically pointed to the tv. “my man’s going to die.”

jonathan rolled his eyes. “what do you think?”

but when he turned to you, he found your eyes closed, your mouth slightly open, completely asleep as you lay your head on his shoulder.

“i told you we should’ve let them pick the movie.” argyle whispered, but jonathan paid no mind to him, only being able to think about how beautiful you looked.

jonathan had memorized your every feature a long time ago, he was sure he could draw your portrait by heart. yet, he watched you sleep as if it was his first time seeing you. as if you were something from a dream he wanted to hold onto, not wanting to forget it when he woke up.

argyle glanced at his friend, and shook his head disapprovingly.

“dude, you’re pathetic.”

“what?!” jonathan whisper-yelled.

“i don’t think i can stand another second of you looking at them with those puppy-dog eyes. especially not when they look at you like that, too.”

“like what?” he asked, surprised.

“like they want to have your babies. it’s stressing me out.”

“they don’t look at me like��” he scoffed, not being able to finish the sentence.

“oh yes, they do. and if you don’t grow some balls and tell them the truth about how you feel, i might lose it, man.”

“you know i can’t do that,” jonathan spoke quietly, glancing at you as you nuzzled up against him, hiding your face in his neck. he could feel your steady breathing against his skin.

“you only live once, dude. you’ll never know unless you try. be brave.”

“that’s very inspirational. thank you.” he said sarcastically.

“look, you just need some of purple palm tree delight and you’re ready to go, then you come up to them and say–”

but argyle didn’t get to finish the sentence, because a quiet, drowsy voice interrupted him.

“i like you too, jon.”

both of them gasped, directing his gaze towards you. your eyes were half-opened, and a small smile danced on your lips. jonathan merely looked at you, not knowing how to react, until argyle jumped from the couch and cried out,

“see! i told you! i was right. i’m always right. you should know that by now, dude. just like i also know he’s going to die.” he pointed at the screen once again, but jonathan’s attention was fixed on you.

“wait, what do you mean you like me…”

you only let out a snore in response, completely asleep again. jonathan sighed and planted a kiss on the top of your head. even though he felt his heart would burst out of his chest if he didn't find out the way you felt about him, he couldn't bring himself to wake you up and disrupt the peacefulness you looked so angelical in.

“well, let’s hope they remember that tomorrow,” argyle concluded. “can we finish the movie now?”

[onehyperfixationatatime]

Best friend!Argyle listening to the reader complain about a crush

Summary: You confide in your best friend argyle about a secret crush from your past. A boy you loved in Hawkins, but could never confess your feelings for.

Authors note: I have been SCOURING tumblr for some Best friend!Argyle content and I’ve found nothing?? So I figured if I can’t find it, write it.

Warnings: this is a first draft. Pls ignore any writing mistakes🥲I also have not written fanfiction in literal years so bear with me as I allow my creative juices to flow.

Your best friend Argyle was eyeing you suspiciously as you wrote in your notebook. “Whatcha writin?” he asks before taking a hit from the bong. You squeal, sitting up on his bed and looking at him. “I can’t stop thinking about this boy from Hawkins..”

You and your brothers, Johnathan and Will, as well as your mom Joyce and your…adoptive sister El, had moved to Lenora from Hawkins about a year ago.

“A boy from Hawkins? Is he like, a cute boy?” Argyle asks you in between coughs. “First of all, dude you have got to change that bong water. That shit grows mold in like three days, ew.” you say, causing him to look down at his bong, inspecting the water to see how gross it is. He makes a face of disgust. “Fair point. What’s second of all?”

“He is so cute!”

“Like a scale of 1 to 10.”

“Like 100!”

“Well damn girl does this mystery boy have a name?” Argyle asks, genuinely interested. You love how good of a listener Argyle is. He’s always genuinely interested in what you have to say. He never makes you feel like what you care about doesn't matter.

“His name is Eddie. He’s the coolest guy I’ve ever met, and everyone thinks he’s some freak, but he’s literally the sweetest guy ever. Anyway, long story super short, he’s basically the love of my life who I can never ever under any circumstances confess my feelings to because of the chance of me ruining our friendship.”

Argyle looks at you with squinted eyes, not sure how to help the situation. “So.. what are you writing?”

“It’s a letter.. to Eddie. A confession I will probably never send.” You say sadly, looking down at your notebook. “You gotta send that shit man,” argyle says, standing up and grabbing the notebook from you. You don’t object, letting him read it. “You gotta mail this shit right now,” he says tossing it on the bed. “You can’t just keep these feelings bottled up! Tell him how you feel!”

“Who?” Johnathan says, having now returned from the bathroom. . “This Eddie dude,” Argyle says ratting you out.

You playfully smack him with the notebook. “Argyle!”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been waiting for her to do that for years. Good luck man,” Johnathan says. “We gotta head out in like 10 minutes, but uh, let me get some of that,” he says, gesturing to the bong. You grab it from the floor and hand it to your brother. He sits in one of the bean bag chairs that is on Argyle’s bedroom floor. “I just don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin things between us. What if Eddie doesn’t feel the same?” you complain, throwing yourself face first into a pillow.

Jonathan takes a massive hit, handing the bong to argyle who was already blazed enough. “He does, everyone can see it. You and he are the only ones who can’t,” Jonathan says in between fits of coughing. He smiles sorta and closes his eyes, letting his head fall back in the chair, feeling instantly relaxed. “Well there’s your answer man, purple palm tree delight!” Argyle says with a big goofy smile. “Shit fixes everything..” He taps your foot to get you to sit up and hands you the bong. You sit up and take it from him, taking a hit slightly smaller than Johnathan’s. You all sit in silence for about three minutes before it hits you.

“I’ll go back for spring break! Yeah, Mike is coming to see El and Will, I’ll just go back to Hawkins! I’m sure the Wheelers would be happy to let me stay there. It will be nice to see everyone. And… maybe ill finally tell Eddie how I feel about him.”

“Told ya it fixes everything.”

“Shit we gotta leave now if we want to get Will and El from school,” Jonathan says, shooting up from his seat. You had convinced the two boys to skip school with you today, something you often used to do with Eddie.

To be continued? I might link this up somehow with my steve x reader x eddie love triangle story. We shall see? Thoughts?

[french-goodbye]

me importas tú, y tú, y tú (y nadie más que tú)

summary: you smoke weed for the first time. there's also pineapple pizza.

pairing: argyle x reader

notes: title from the song piel canela by cuco. because all his songs just make me think of argyle. also i only smoked weed once and i'm not sure i did it right bc i didn't feel anything so don't trust me on this lol.

you're laying on your back in argyle's bed, head towards the foot of the bed and feet pointing at the headboard, watching him as he messes around with the tapes on the corner of his room, looking for the perfect one. he finally chooses one and slides into it the cassette player before turning towards you smiling. when the first cords start playing you recognize it as one of your favorite bands, so you smile back and make grabby hands at him.

he follows your request, approaching his bed and sitting against the headboard, next to your feet and grabbing his joint resting on the ashtray on his bedside table and lighting it.

he takes a hit and rests his hand on his thigh, exhaling white smoke towards the ceiling before turning to you and placing his hand on your ankle, stroking the bone softly with his thumb.

"got my girl, got my purple palm tree delight... life is good bro" he says chuckling.

you lean on your elbows to watch as he takes another hit, the way his lips purse around the joint he had rolled just minutes before, his fingers holding it delicately and how his throat moves when he inhales and seconds later exhales. you watch him transfixed. he notices.

"why you looking at me like that?"

"like what?" you ask still leaning on your elbows, his fingers slowly tracing a path from your ankle to your shin.

"like you want something" he squeezes your shin gently.

"nothing, 's just..." you begin as you sit up, crossing your legs, moving your hand to his own leg, stroking it and feeling the hairs there tickle your skin. "you kinda make me wanna try it too" he holds up the joint as if to say 'this?' so you nod. he beckons you with a movement of his head.

"ven aquí" you crawl towards him, plopping down next to him and throwing your legs on his laps. his hands move to rest on them.

"you wanna try it?" he asks looking at you. he had offered before and you never really showed any interest in it. until now.

"yeah" you nod excitedly. he laughs.

"okay" he slaps your thighs gently making you laugh. "i'll hold it for you, okay? just take a hit and exhale slowly."

he puts the joint close to your face and you go for it, trying to do what he told. you fail. and cough like crazy.

"shit dude" he rests the joint on the ashtray and scrambles to grab the bottled water on his bedside table, twisting it open and offering it to you. you take a sip when you finally stop coughing.

"you okay man?" his free hand rubs circles on your back. you give him an ugly look, still teary eyed. "sorry, sorry" he puts his hands up in surrender. "you okay babe?"

you laugh "yeah i think i am now. but i don't think weed is for me" you say still laughing. he looks at you in thought. "what?"

"we could try another way" you look at him inquisitively as he speaks "i've never done it before but i've seen people do it" he shruggs.

"how?" you frown.

"d' you trust me?" he asks, taking the water bottle from your hands and putting it back in it's place.

"of course i do silly" you answer moving your hand to stroke his cheek softly. he turns his face to press a kiss to your palm.

"are you sure you're okay?" you nod. "and you're sure you wanna try again?" you nod again. he laughs.

"ok then" he pushes your legs of off him. "siéntate" he taps his thigh for you to sit on his lap.

"oh wow, so forward" you joke climbing on your knees and then moving to straddle him.

"you know me babe, can't keep my hands to myself around my señorita." you laugh at him while settling on his lap and resting your hands on his shoulders. one of his hands moves to steady you on your waist while the other picks his joint yet again. you eye it suspiciously.

"ok so this is called shotgunning. i will take a hit and then i'll blow it into your month." he explains, his eyes never yours. you nod.

he takes the joint to his lips while the other moves to cup your cheek, he keeps the smoke in his mouth and bring your face closer to his. his thumb presses forcefully into your chin to get you to open up to him, and when you do he blows the smoke into your moth softly, his lips touching yours while you inhale. he kisses you softly when he's done and pulls away after. you chase after him, placing one two three more kisses on his lips before allowing him to finally move away.

"so... how was that?" his brown eyes scan your face avidly.

"okay that was so much better" you rest your hands on his face pulling him in for a quick peck.

"do you wanna do it again?"

"definitely"

so you do it again. and again. you keep going until you finish the joint together. the last time you do it he grabs your face a little more forcefully, pressing your lips together. the hand holding the joint stubbing it quickly on the ashtray and moving to squeeze your thigh.

you sink your hands into his thick hair, pushing it away from his face and tugging it softly to pull him away from you and tilt his head so you can press your lips to his chin. the corner of his jaw. the spot under his ear that always makes him melt.

"amor" he murmurs when he feels your kisses on his neck.

"wha'?"

he doesn't answer so you pull away to see his face, his eyes are red and half lidded and he has this really silly smile on. he looks higher than you've ever seen him.

"baby you look so fucking high" you laugh.

"si, mi amor" he pushes you backwards, into the bed suddenly making you squeal his name as you fall back, plopping down on top of you soon after. "i'm high on you" you cackle at him before pushing his hair from where it fell on both of your faces.

"you're silly" your hands comb softly through his hair.

he kisses you again, slotting his lips on yours. his hand massaging the tender skin of your thigh while the other squeezes your waist. he licks into your month, his tongue moving against yours softly. he bites your lower lip gently, pressing his hips against yours and you feel that familiar heat blossom between your legs.

he moves away to stare at you. you stare back.

"what?" you look away from him, suddenly feeling shy.

"do you want pizza?" he moves away without waiting to get an answer. you sigh in defeat.

"no pineapple!" you yell at him as he leaves the room to get to the phone. you don't get an answer.

"babe, no pineapple right?" you sit up on the bed. still no answer. "right?" you yell again into the air. nothing but silence. you let yourself fall backwards on the bed, staring at his ceiling and accepting your pineapple pizza fate. you're okay with that if it means you get to keep him. even though you will take it off your slice. on principle.

[writtenfromhawkins]

I think ❛ what slasher do you think you could take? in a fight, i mean. ❜ with stoner Jonathan would be really fun

hi, friend! you are so right about that. this is very unserious, hope you enjoy it. it's short, but i had fun with it.

ship: jonathan byers x fem!reader

summary: a post-movie night smoke session brings up an interesting question.

word count: 0.4k

warnings: drugs/drug use, some brief suggestive thoughts. if i missed anything, please let me know and i'll add it.

psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

Sprawled out on Jonathan's bed, your limbs impossibly intertwined, your fingers brush as you pass him the joint. No words are spoken—they can't be, your lungs are filled with smoke.

You only exhale moments later when they start to burn. You feel good. Warm, fuzzy, relaxed.

With a doting mother and an always-present younger sibling, it wasn't often that the two of you got the Byers' house to just yourselves and you intended to take full advantage of that.

For some young lovers that meant doing some decidedly X-Rated things and, sure, maybe that'd come later in the night. But for you two, most definitely not your typical couple, it just meant marathoning the Friday The 13th franchise and enjoying some Purple Palm Tree Delight.

"Baby?" His voice is soft, husky. One word and you're practically melting.

"Yeah?

"Which slasher do you think you could take?"

It's a loaded question and one with no real good answer. You don't know why but the first name to pop into your mind is Freddy Krueger. With those claws, he has to be ruled out. Leatherface is an only slightly better option. But maybe from behind—

"What is that look on your face?"

When you turn, Jonathan is propped up on his elbows, looking at you. Joint hanging precariously from the corner of his lips, he has to contort his facial muscles to talk without dropping it.

His eyes light up with realization. "Oh, you pervert."

You don't get the chance to defend yourself before he's grabbing the pillow under his head and whacking you with it. You let out an indignant noise, rightfully offended, before you're stealing it, tucking it beneath you.

"I meant in a fight."

"Oh. Oh." Now you had to consider totally different factors. "You go first. I gotta really think about this."

His eyes roll towards the ceiling but he appeases you anyway. "Krueger, for sure. You wanna get in my head? My dreams?" He scoffs. "Good luck with that, dude."

That gets a laugh out of you but you grow somber quickly. No matter how you think of it, regardless of the adversary or the situation, there is no option where you're the final girl.

"I don't know, Jon," you say, tone downright sorrowful. "I don't think I can take any of them. I'm probably just the hot girl who gets killed ten minutes in."

You expect your boyfriend to come to your honor, to agree that yeah, you're a total babe, but you're also badass—you could take on every bad guy in every universe with one hand tied behind your back.

Those assurances never come and you look at him, ready to complain, but stop yourself. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes hooded and he's staring at you. Really staring.

"The hot girl? Yeah," he agrees, "I can totally see that."

—

[munson-blurbs]

STEVE + ARGYLE + READER, afternoon palm tree delight

Warnings: absolutely filthy smut (18+ only, minors DNI), voyeurism?, public sex, drug use, fingering, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up), male masturbation, pet names

WC: 1.5k

A/N: Ziggy didn't give me a place in this ask, so I asked her privately and she said the Wheeler basement. So that's where it came from.

--

“Forty-seven, forty-eight—shit, babe, you totally made me lose count!” Argyle groans as you tug gently on his hair to get his attention. 

You roll your eyes. “You were counting the wood panels on the wall, not performing brain surgery.” Your sarcasm garners a laugh from Steve, and Argyle flips you both off. “I was gonna ask you to pass me a joint,” you continue, pulling out your lime green lighter. It’s been a long day, and you could really use some Purple Palm Tree Delight.

Your boyfriend wrinkles his nose. “Won’t the Wheelers get mad if we smoke in their basement?”

“Doubtful,” you scoff. “Nancy told me that Mike once hid a girl down here for, like, weeks. Their parents were oblivious.” You stretch out your hand as he takes the joint from behind his ear and places it in your palm. “Thank you!” you trill, pressing a kiss to his cheek and lighting up. 

“Speaking of Nancy,” Steve interjects, rubbing his palms on his jeans, “do we have an ETA for her, or…?”

“Emergency newspaper club meeting,” you tell him. “But I’m surprised you didn’t already know that, loverboy,” you tease, inhaling and passing to him. He looks at it before taking a hit, shooting you a puzzled look. 

“Don’t try to act coy with us, Harrington,” Argyle laughs, plucking the joint from Steve’s fingers and placing it between his own lips. “You’re gonna sit here and say you’re helping your ex-girlfriend plan a surprise party for her boyfriend out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Yeah, okay, sure,” Steve mumbles, breaking the puff-puff-pass rotation and taking the joint before you can. “Yup, I’m still in love with Nancy.”

You lean over to snatch it back from him, and he gets a perfect view of your cleavage peeking from your tank top. “Wait your turn!” you scold him, but you’re smiling as you say it. 

“Aw, c’mon, princesa,” Argyle nuzzles into you, already feeling the effects from the weed, “cut him some slack. It’s exhausting pining over Nancy all day.” He kisses your neck and snakes his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer. He always gets extra frisky when he’s high. 

“Ugh, enough with the PDA!” Steve grumbles as you and Argyle shotgun smoke into each other’s mouths. “Seriously, I’ll leave right now.”

“Someone wishes he was doing this with Nancy Wheeler,” you giggle, only interrupted by your boyfriend nibbling on your earlobe. 

“I don’t want Nancy!” Steve shouts a bit too loudly, startling you. “I’m just being a good friend. That’s all.”

“Bullshit,” you retort. “You love her. Why else would you always offer to drive us to work, when the mall is out of your way? Or bring us coffee when you know we have an early shift? Or how you come to all of my volleyball games,

because she’s the one who reports on girls’ sports?”

A deep blush sets into Steve’s cheeks, and Argyle adjusts his position to sit up straighter. “Uh, babe?” he starts. “I don’t think Steve wants to be with Nancy. I think he wants to be with…you.”

“Oh my God!” Steve buries his head in his hands. “Tell me this is a bad dream, and I’m gonna wake up any second now.”

“Wait, seriously?” Your eyes widen. “Dude, why didn’t you say anything?” 

“Yeah, man,” Argyle says smugly. “You know we’re always down for a third.”

Steve shakes his head. “Nah, I’d feel too weird…like, touching your girl, y’know?”

There’s a brief silence before you have an idea. “So don’t touch me,” you grin mischievously. “You tell Argyle what you want him to do to me, and he’ll do it. And you’ll only be touching yourself.” You bite your lower lip; you’re already getting wet at the idea of Steve watching you. 

“O-Okay,” Steve stammers, swallowing thickly. “If it’s cool with you guys.” He feels his jeans tightening around his crotch. 

“‘S cool with me,” Argyle chimes in. “What about you, princesa?”

You nod, climbing onto your boyfriend’s lap and straddling his waist. “Whenever you’re ready, Stevie.”

Steve already looks flustered, but he manages to tell Argyle to kiss you. Your boyfriend chastely presses his lips to your cheek, purposely ornery. “Like that?” he goads Steve. 

“No, fuckin’…kiss her, man. Kiss her like you wanna fuck her.” His animalistic side is starting to show, but you barely have time to enjoy it before Argyle’s tongue parts your lips. You moan into it, and Steve palms himself over his jeans. 

“You like her pretty little sounds?” Argyle instigates, chuckling as Steve nods weakly. “There’s plenty more where that came from, Big Boy. Keep going. And, uh, make yourself more comfortable.”

Steve unbuttons his pants obediently, tugging them down along with his boxers. He takes his hard cock in his hand and spits on it. “Is she wet?” he asks. 

Argyle slips his hand under your skirt, bunching up the material and running a thick finger over your panties. “Soaked.”

“Shit,” Steve breathes, using his saliva as lube and pumping slowly. “Rub her clit. Make her feel good.”

“You got it, boss.” Argyle takes your lace thong off and tosses it to Steve. “A little souvenir,” he says with a wink, bringing his attention back to your pussy. 

“Touch me, please,” you beg. “Need your fingers.” He obliges, circling your sensitive bundle with the pad of his middle finger. “S-So good, babe. Right there. I’m gonna…” You grind your hips as he quickens his pace. You feel your orgasm creep up on you, just within reach—

“Stop!” Steve cries out; you and Argyle freeze. “Don’t let her cum yet. Make her work for it. Need to hear her fuckin’ scream.” He’s put your panties over his cock, thrusting into them as he gives instructions. “Go nice and slow.” Argyle complies, and your pathetic whimper only turns both men on more. “Thassit. Now, put one finger in her. Not too fast, though.”

Your fingertips dig into Argyle’s shoulders as you bounce on his thick digit, desperate for some sensory input. Steve notices, clearing his throat in disapproval. “Hey, Cheech,” he calls out, “our girl’s getting greedy. Better put her in her place.”

“Oh, she’s our girl now, Harrington?” Argyle smirks, tilting your chin so your eyes meet his. “You heard him, princesa. Only take what I give you.”

“Y-Yes sir,” you whine, silently praying that he’ll slide another finger inside you.

After a few agonizing minutes that feel like hours, you hear Steve finally mutter, “‘M close. Pull out–fuck–all the stops.” His fist flies over his erection, groaning as the fabric from your panties adds friction. “Wanna see her ride you.”

You couldn’t be more grateful as you pull your boyfriend’s cock out of his pants, grazing it along your wet folds. “Someone’s eager,” he teases lightly, but you have no patience to think of a witty comeback. Instead, you line him up with your wanting cunt, hissing gently as he stretches you.

“T-Tell me how she feels,” Steve pleads. A bead of sweat trickles down from his forehead. “Bet she feels perfect, huh? Bet our girl always feels s’perfect.”

“She’s so fuckin’ tight, dude,” Argyle agrees, throwing his head back as you grind down, allowing his length to hit every square inch of your walls. “Got the tightest little pussy; makes me cum in seconds.”

“Baby?” you squeak out, and both Argyle and Steve turn their attention to you. “C-Can I cum now? Please?” Argyle looks at Steve for approval, and he manages a nod. With that, Argyle pins your thighs against him as he pistons harder and faster, spilling into you as you finish all over his cock. Steve’s panting breaths echo around the room as he cums in your already ruined panties.

“Holy shit,” he says to no one in particular. “That was–wow. Didn’t know I was into that,” he adds with a chuckle. He cleans himself off with the lace, and Argyle reaches for the tissue box to wipe his own cum from you. “Wait–I wanna see. If…if that’s okay?” He realizes that he’s just asked, his ears tinging pink with embarrassment.

Argyle waits for your consent, which you give enthusiastically. “Just no touching,” he warns him, and his possessiveness makes you wet all over again.

Steve nods, feeling his cock twitch up as he watches Argyle’s load drip out of your pussy. He’s speechless for a moment, mumbling, “Clean her up before I get hard again,” tucking your thong into his back pocket.

You’re about to argue that that might not be a bad thing when you hear Nancy’s voice call out to her parents that she’s home. “Shit!” You tug down your bunched-up skirt as Argyle quickly cleans up. You’re all trying to act casual as Nancy bounds down the stairs, crinkling her nose. “Were you guys smoking down here?”

“Mhm, yeah, sorry,” Argyle blurts out. “Won’t happen again.”

Nancy narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Did I miss something?”

“Absolutely not,” you chirp too enthusiastically, and the two boys nod in agreement. 

Steve stands up suddenly, perspiration still clinging to his face. “I, uh, gotta pee,” he says lamely, but as he walks to the bathroom, your panties fall out of his pocket.

“Is that–” Nancy starts, shaking her head. “Actually, I don’t wanna know.”

--

[smallghostcorner]

Little Eddie x cg reader (masc version)

Cw: mentions of Argyle being high and weed

Summary: you and the gang (including Argyle and Johnathan) come over to smoke but Eddie is regressed and you all baby him instead.

You and the gang walk up to Eddies trailer, you knock but get no answer.

You try the door and its unlocked.

"That seems kinda weird dudes" Argyle points out already high.

You just nod and head inside.

You notice the tv on and playing cartoons and you can hear shuffling and slight giggles coming from the back of the trailer.

"You guys wait here I'll find eds"

You scurry off to Eddies bedroom, you see him sitting on his bed in a pair of shorts and a soft band tee shirt with some knee high socks and before you even see the pacifier hanging out of his mouth you know he's regressed.

"Papa!" he shouts excitedly when he sees you and makes grabby hands for you.

"Hey little guy" you say as you pick him up and set him on your hip.

"The others are here is that okay?" you want to make sure your baby is comfortable before bringing him out.

He nods at you and you exit his bedroom.

When you come back out to the living room the gangs a little confused as to why you're holdong him.

You quickly explain age regression to them and they surprisingly seem to catch on quickly.

Steve is the first one to get it and offers to get Eddie a snack and a sippy cup of juice.

You thank him as you set Eddie down on the floor and rush back to his room to grab a few toys for him to play with.

When you return from his room for a second time you see Eddie enjoying the bowl of cup up fruit and cereal Steve made him while Nancy lets him play with her fingers.

"Hey little man i brought you some of your toys to play with when you finish your snack" you say to him as you set down his favorite stuffie (a pink teddy bear named rarity) a teething ring and a set of soft blocks.

He looked over at you but seemed more interested in his game with Nancys fingers.

------time skip-----

Everyone was having a good time despite the night not going how they planned, Nancy had brought a book to read, Robin and Steve were arguing about something or another in a friendly banter kind of way and you and Jonathan were entertaining Eddie.

You didn't know were Argyle went but you have a feeling he went outside for some purple palm tree delight.

When Argyle came back in his eyes were red rimned and he seemed a lot more chill.

When Eddie saw him again he made grabby hands towards him.

"What's up my tiny brochaco?" Agyle asked him.

"Haiw pwetty" Eddie responded touching Argyles hair.

"You wanna play with it my little dude?" Argyle asked taking off his hat.

"I can?" Eddies eyes lit up like a chirstmas tree.

Eddie stars to run his fingers through Argyles hair being careful not to pull on it.

He does a few braids before he starts to rub his eyes and yawn.

"I think it's nap time for a little somebody" you say starting to stand up.

"I could go for a nap right now too" Argyle says also yawning.

"nap togefer papa? Please?" Eddie gives you his best puppy dog eyes and you give in this time after all he's still gonna nap.

"Ok but only this once"

Eddie and Argyle both cheer. Argyle gets up on the couch and lays down, Eddie crawls over and lays on top of him.

They're both out in a matter of minutes and you just laugh at them.

words cannot express how underrated Argyle is

[doriandrifting]

I just want a scene after the time jump where all the characters are at the drive in, but the character placements in each car just progressively more ridiculous. And while it would never happen in canon like this, it’s all I want:

Dustin, Lucas, Max, and El are all in one car, but Max and El are in their own private world, and Lucas is lowkey pissed bc he thought this was gonna be a date, but Mike had explained that he actually couldn’t make it, so everyone would have to pile into his car.

Dustin’s just way too into the movie and interrupting every five seconds to tell Lucas a behind the scenes fun fact, like “did you know that fake blood is actually just chocolate syrup and—”

Lucas doesn’t even have Will to share his misery with, because he’s like sick or something? Lucas can’t remember what all Mike said. Anyway, Dustin starts ranting again and Lucas bangs his head on the steering wheel and the horn goes off and you can hear people complaining outside.

The camera cuts to another car. “Jeez, I hope everything’s alright with Lucas and them,” Steve says bc he’s a whole mother.

Argyle is all like, “Dude, have a hit of my purple palm tree delight and relax!” bc Nancy and Jonathan wanted to be alone in Jonathan’s car, so of course Argyle hopped into Steve’s car.

And Robin, who’s been anxiously trying to figure out whether Vickie is leaning on her shoulder in a friendly way or a gay way in the back pauses to be like, “That’s not such a bad idea,” and when Steve gives her wtf that is so a bad idea eyes, “Fine, if you won’t,” and grabs the joint from Argyle.

Vickie is giggling.

Steve is rolling his eyes. “Forget it. I’m going to get snacks. Anybody want anything?”

And then Robin, because it’s on Steve’s dollar, gives him a long list of requests.

So Steve goes and that girl from the Hawkins donation thingy is there with her friends and they start hitting it off at concessions.

Then we cut to Nancy and Jonathan trying to make out, but Jonathan seems super distracted and keeps looking past Nancy. And finally, she’s like, “What the hell Jonathan? Are you that interested in the movie?”

And Jonathan’s making excuses, but his eyes drift away again.

Cue the last car and Mike being like, “He’s glaring again.”

“Hmm?” Will is pretending not to know what Mike’s referring to.

“Your brother. Why is he glaring?”

And Will’s like “No idea. Just ignore him.”

But Mike can’t, so he knocks both of their seats back and out in the distance we see Jonathan panicking like wtf why are their seats back???

But of course nothing is going on, because Mike is straight. Will is painfully aware of this. He’d just suggested Will and him share a car, bc there was only room for 5 in either car, and it wouldn’t be cool for one person to be alone. And Mike probably just didn’t want to be squeezed in the back of Lucas’ car with his ex girlfriend and Max. So he asked Will if they could go together—if he could pick him up, say around 8? Or—make that 7, so they could go grab dinner from that food truck Mike knows Will likes. It all makes total sense, and there’s nothing gay or romantic about it !!

Anyway the horror movie protagonist is of course ten seconds from dying bc she doesn’t realize the killers probably behind her, or at least that’s what the ominous music is suggesting. Out of the corner of his eyes, Will can see Mike scooting progressively closer, his pinky slowly stretching out on the console. But it’s also probably in his head and Mike just needs to stretch bc they’ve been in the car so long and the music is getting louder and SHIT

On screen, the the character is fine (for now). It was just a jump scare of her little brother hiding in the closet. Outside Lucas is tapping on their window. And inside Mike is wiping away the popcorn that was resting between them that he just spilled all over himself.

“Oh shit, looks like my window button is broken.” Mike says sarcastically and shrugs helplessly when Lucas gestures for him to roll down the window.

“Then open the door,” Lucas says through the glass.

There’s some intense prolonged eye contact before Mike clicks the lock before Lucas can open the door himself.

“What the hell Mike?” Lucas whines.

Will is totally confused by this. “What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know!” Lucas shouts and there’s more shushing from other movie goers. And Lucas is stomping off. “You better explain yourself tomorrow, Wheeler.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike reassures Will, gently petting his hand, and then letting it rest on top of Will’s for the rest of the movie.

Anyway, definitely not a date.

[hazardworld]

Little thing I’ve had in my drafts for awhile, it’s like semi finished

(queer’s used as a good/neutral word here, fyi)

----

Two years post-GF canon (summer before sophomore year) Ford finds a fuck-ton of anomalies in this tiny town a few hours outside Indianapolis. These  anomalies extend from the 80s on-- Stan vaguely remembers hearing abt everything (zombie boy, Hawkins Lab incident, mall fire, earthquake, etc), since Ford got tossed in the portal in January of ‘81.

The Mystery Shack Gang (Stan, Ford, Soos, Wendy, Mabel, Dipper, Pacifica) get Ford’s emergencies-only time measuring tape and go back to the 80s and drive to Hawkins. Stan makes them all IDs with appropriate birth years so they can blend in easier, and Melody watches the shack while they’re gone bc she’s the GOAT.

After booking motel rooms, Stan, Mabel, Dipper, and Paz go out. The first people they meet are Steve, Robin, and Dustin at Family Video, since Stan’s go-to easiest method of distracting children is cringy 80s movies. Dustin immediately clocks them for tourists and takes Mabel to the arcade (Steve just wants the kid to get his fucking homework done).

Robin clocks smalltown gays (Paz) and asks her about Rocky Horror. Stan has to quickly explain it’s like the Indigo Girls, to which Paz responds “I don’t listen to Rocky Horror but I listen to Rocky Horror.” This is obviously very confusing to everyone, so Stan mediates again and just asks if “they’re all queer here.”

Meanwhile, Ford is off exploring the woods for anomalies when he finds Hopper’s cabin, where El is hiding out yet again. Ford meets El, and Hopper walks in on them talking about multidimensional travel, which somehow El understands. Obviously, Hopper is wary about this old scientist dude who barged into his house with his illegal daughter, but El confirms he’s a little crazy but fully good-hearted, and even has a weirdness of his own! (his hands).

Simultaneously, Wendy and Soos stole the car and are driving around for something. They eventually find the quarry, where Johnathan, Argyle, and Eddie are smoking weed. Wendy trades Purple Palm Tree Delight with modern Oregon shit, and they all smoke together. Soos trying pot is an experience.

Eventually the GF gang reconvenes after Steve drives Stan, Paz, and Dipper to the quarry to pick up Wendy, Soos, and their car, where Stan complains that he wanted weed too. Eddie becomes nervous being couple-y with Steve around the newcomers, but Stan makes a comment about how he used to switch his own navy blue ‘back in the 80s’ in reference to Eddie’s hanky (both Steve and Stan are very casually queer).

The comment sinks in--it is the 80s--but no one tries to correct it. 

When they get back to the motel, Mabel has called, saying she’s staying the night at the Hendersons, apparently. During this sleepover, she teaches Dustin about the wonders of sweater-knitting and pansexuality, ("I thought that was just like orgies and stuff!" "Not in the future it’s not!" "What?" "What?") and Dustin teaches her about DnD and Cerebro, ("Oh yeah! Me and my Gruncle and my besties had to play that to free my brother and my other Gruncle from the villains come to life from this weird infinitesimal interdimensional die!" "What?" "What?"). Essentially, it’s extroverted pansexual autistic bonding night.

In the morning, they run a 3 hour sugar high and terrorize the arcade once again. Lucas and Will are there and very concerned.

El and Hopper, who drove Ford back to the hotel, get introduced to the whole rest of the gang. El and Max don’t quite realize their admiration for Wendy is 1000000% attraction, though Wendy however, does (she knows a fellow confused bisexual when she sees one). She tries to ease them both into the idea of being gay, but El doesn’t entirely get the nuance. 

Most importantly, El and Hopper open up about the Upside Down, so they all decide to have a massive family dinner that next evening so they can talk about trauma together. 

At dinner (Chez Steve) everyone introduces themselves and explains the terrors of each others’ worlds, because everyone’s equally traumatized and they finally have someone to rant to about it. The GF gang also tells the Hawkins crew that they’re actually from the future. Robin is psyched, Eddie realizes that Stan’s whole thing makes a lot more sense, and then shudders, thinking he could’ve hooked up with him before he got together with Steve, and Max and Robin and El are all still practically drooling over Wendy.

Eventually, Ford and Nancy have found themselves a corner and converse intensely about sciencey things, and no one can tell what they’re talking about, Dipper meets the boys and is psyched to find fellow lovers of DnD--he introduces them to DnD 4e ("Fifth edition is supposed to come out this September in our time!")--and Soos is still feeling the after-high (it doesn’t matter if this is even a thing or not but it is for Soos because he’s Soos, okay?). He, Johnathan, and Argyle (who are also high) are platonically/weed-induced cuddling on a guest bed.

(Soos, Hopper, and Joyce are the token straights here and we love them for that).

Stan, Claudia, and Wayne (who have been added to the party for other reasons) lovingly begrudge about their children on the back porch. Stan asks what was it like to have gay kids in the 80s (he wants to balance it on his own childhood), and Claudia and Wayne just look at each other…and snicker. Claudia is lesbian and Wayne is gay, and back in the day, the two of them plus Joyce and Hopper would go on double dates and be each other’s beards. (Joyce and Hopper knew it the whole time; Claudia and Wayne had not been quiet about their attraction when they were all little)

Steve, Erica, and Pacifica have their own version of the same fucking conversation on the back porch, though, theirs is more, "wtf is wrong with these kids/mofos/idiots.” Erica and Pacifica also converse about being lesbians.

Meanwhile, Dustin and Mabel have woken up from their nap to a pounding headache between the both of them. Dustin finds the Advil and they take some so they’re feeling better. Not knowing about the dinner party, they decide to go annoy Steve at Family Video, but Dustin’s too young for his permit, and his mom will kill him if he lets Mabel drive without one, either. Instead, they take a shortcut to Family Video through the woods.

"You’re taking a knife into the woods?" -M

"…Yeah? It’s-It’s the woods, man, dunno what could be out there…" -D

"Dude, chill, weapons are awesome. Just wanted to clarify," -M

Neither Mabel nor Dustin know about each other’s trauma, so they’re trying to cover shit up the best they can. (Mabel also secretly stashes her grappling hook and Ford’s other-dimensional laser gun on her at all times).

While they’re walking, Mabel notices that things have gone eerily…gray. Dustin then notices too, and voices it out loud.

Oh look, it’s everyone’s bestie Bill Cypher!

Apparently, killing him in the future means he’s still alive in the past. Mabel’s conveniently wearing her shooting star sweater again, and she gives Dustin his own Cypher name, 'Radio’. Bill reignites Mabel’s trauma, having access to her mind, and then tries to make a deal with Dustin. Dustin’s wary, and he sees Mabel’s panicked look when the deal is offered, so he luckily doesn’t take it. Bill then drops he’s gonna make a deal with Henry Creel, and disappears, the forest going back to color.

Oh look, it’s trauma dump time in the middle of the forest!

Mabel explains about the summer of 2012 and Dustin explains about Vecna and the UD. They come to the conclusion that Murderous-Mind-Demon x Murderous-Mind-Demon-With-Connections-To-Other-Murderous-Demons is not a good ship. Immediately, Dustin’s on his radio, and Max is the first to answer in a momentary bathroom break from her drooling over Wendy. (Dustin explains to Mabel that Max is like his own twin sister and Mabel instantly approves).

Max alerts the masses, and Steve picks the Dustin and Mabel up to they can all brainstorm what to do together.

Let the fun begin!

[hermannsthumb]

Hot tub sex??? *eye emoji*

scientists in a hot tub……what will they repress……..

18+/not safe for work below cut!!!!!

————————————-

Hermann is no stranger to shoddy motel rooms at this point in his career–indeed, on the shoestring PPDC budget, it’s more or less all he and Newton can afford when they’re shuttled out for conferences–but there’s a certain veneer to the crumbling Art Deco design and dusty plastic palm trees of this one that’s left him feeling strangely unsettled. It’s as if they’ve stepped into the past. As if the very motel is frozen in time. 

“Stop being so dramatic,” Newton says. “It’s just a stupid gimmick. Hold this, will you?”

He shoves his duffel bag at Hermann and (ignoring Hermann’s indignant hm!) continues, unsuccessfully, to cram a keycard into their door lock. “It’s upside down,” Hermann finally says.

“No it’s not,” Newton says.

“Yes it is,” Hermann says. “Flip it.”

“It’s not upside down,” Newton says.

“Flip the bloody card, Newton.”

Newton flips the keycard. The lock lights up green with a click. “Huh,” he says.

Their room is small, a bit cramped, even, with two twin beds (mercifully, they won’t have to share again, not like they did last time) draped in pink bedspreads, two nightstands, a beaten-up wooden wardrobe, and a single desk jammed in the corner. The pseudo-vintage wallpaper matches that of the hallways and lobby; the carpet, meanwhile, is too faded to make out what the pattern was once meant to be. “How terribly charming,” Hermann remarks, sarcastically. 

“I call bed next to the window,” Newton says, pushing past him to claim it.

Hermann busies himself with unpacking his belongings from his small carry-on suitcase as Newton takes stock of the room: poking around in the nightstand drawers, flicking through the wrinkled Gideons Bibles, fluffing his pillow, sniffing skeptically at the bars of soap resting atop their pillows. Hermann’s nearly finished settling in when Newton–flinging the door to their in-suite bathroom open–startles him with a sharp crow of surprise.

“Holy shit,” he says. “Take a look at that!”

Hermann sets down his last sweater on the bedspread, not bothering to look up. He can’t quite say he fancies finding out what kind of horror awaits them in there. “Roach infestation?” he sighs. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“It’s a fucking hot tub, dude.”

Hermann does look up at that. “Hot tub?” he echoes sharply.

Newton pushes the door open wider. Sure enough, around his shoulder, Hermann can make out pink tile and the deepest, most elaborate bathtub he’s ever seen, complete with its own set of stairs. “There are jets,” Newton says. He lunges for a bottle on the edge of the tub and waves it excitedly. “Look, they gave us bubble stuff, too!”

“Oh,” Hermann says, not quite able to cover up his delight. There are very few things Hermann loathes more than flying: the cramped confines, even with disability accommodation, which leave his leg stiff and him tense and irritable–the fine layer of grime he’s certain sticks to him afterwards–how wretchedly exhausted he is when the whole affair is finally over. He can, frankly, think of nothing he’d like quite more at the moment than stripping down and getting into a hot soak in that tub. However filthy it may be. (And Hermann expects it’s quite filthy.)

He steps up behind Newton for a closer inspection. Pink. Dingy, but less so with grime, more so from age. Curved seats. Enough jets to already make Hermann feel woozy. Newton turns and shoots him a grin. “How many people do you think have screwed in there?” he says.

“Ugh.” Hermann winces.

“I’m serious,” Newton says. “It’s at least a dozen.” He nudges the faucet with the toe of his boot and laughs. “God, it’s so fucking sleazy. Why the fuck did they put this in here?”

“Perhaps the staff anticipated overstressed travelers would appreciate the opportunity to relax,” Hermann sniffs.

“Or perhaps,” (Newton says this in a crude mockery of his accent,) “the staff thought people like us might want a little extra bang for our buck, if you catch my drift.” He waggles his eyebrows.

People like him and Newton. Unable to help himself, and feeling suddenly rather flustered, Hermann blushes. “You’re so crude.”

“Maybe you just have a stick up your ass,” Newton says. He shuts the door. “Anyway, I’m gonna get a burger from the place next door. Do you want something?”

Hermann chooses not to remind Newton that he is a vegetarian. He’ll presumably remember it at some point on the walk to the restaurant–it’s rather a poignant thing to forget about one’s self. “No, thank you,” he says, and then, after reconsidering, because he is hungry, “Actually–yes. A sandwich. You know the sort I like–something with turkey. Or cucumber.”

“It’s a hamburger place,” Newton says, as if Hermann is a particularly dull toddler. 

“Surely they don’t only sell hamburgers,” Hermann says.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Newton says. He scoops up the keycard from where he tossed it on the dresser, pats his pocket for his wallet, and nods at Hermann. “I’ll be back in twenty. Don’t have any wild hot tub sex without me.”

There’s an uncomfortable pause.

“That’s not,” Newton says. “Uh. See you.”

Newton’s not been gone five minutes when Hermann finally caves in and starts the tap for the hot tub. The water comes out hot–nicely hot–and the jets–oh, the jets--Hermann is suddenly frightfully glad he allowed Newton to talk him into packing swimming trunks in the event they’re able to make it out to the beach before the weekend is up. Though tub is just as much a bathtub as a jacuzzi, it still feels strange to enter it nude. Especially after Newton’s lewd comments.

The tub takes the better part of Newton’s promised twenty minutes to fill, and it’s still not quite finished when Hermann–now stripped down to nothing but his bland pair of navy-blue swimming trunks–grips the metal bars at the stairs and eases his aching, tense body into the steaming water. He tilts his head back against the pink tile; he groans, a little louder than he means to. The relief is quite instant.

Perhaps a bit embarrassingly, his prick begins to stiffen.

It’s automatic, of course. Pavlovian by nature. He’s not at all thinking of Newton’s implication that people like them have appropriated the hot tub for other purposes, nor of his slip-up right before he left to get them dinner. It’s only that Hermann prefers to reserve certain personal activities for when he’s in the bath. He’s more relaxed–the undercurrent of pain in his leg less distracting, and indeed, even nonexistent. Anyway, it’s not as if he’s about to start pleasuring himself here, in a bloody hot tub, where Newton could walk in and find him at any moment…

(A small, warm twinge in the pit of his stomach; Hermann parts his thighs just a bit wider, only to make himself comfortable, of course.)

Then there’s a small click in the main room: the door lock. “They literally only had hamburgers, dude, like I said,” Newton is saying. “So I got you–Hermann?”

“In here,” Hermann calls back lazily.

Newton practically kicks the bathroom door down, glaring ferociously, greasy takeaway bags cradled in one arm. “You asshole,” he says. “You’re using it without me!”

“I haven’t the foggiest idea what you mean,” Hermann says.

Newton sets the bag down on the sink counter and kicks off his boots. Then he begins to strip out of his t-shirt. Then his jeans. Hermann sits up in alarm. “No, no,” he says. “What are you–?”

“I’m getting in, that’s what I’m doing,” Newton huffs.

“No you are not.”

“I am,” Newton says. He reaches for the waistband of his purple boxers.

“No,” Hermann says, a little louder, and then begins to splutter indignantly when Newton ignores him and slips those off too. “You brought–we have swimming trunks. Why are you–?”

“You’ve seen me naked before,” Newton says with a shrug. The motion, full-bodied, causes certain elements of his anatomy to move. Certain elements of Hermann’s anatomy begin to move, too, in response, but for an entirely different reason. “It doesn’t have to be weird.”

This is true; Newton’s had enough lab accidents in their career which require use of the emergency decontamination shower that, hypothetically, Hermann should know his body like his own at this point. This does not make it any less alarming. Or any less exciting. Newton’s sturdy bare legs, verging on too-hairy, small scars on both his knees from what Hermann knows to be a rollerblading accident when he was twelve; Newton’s tattooed arms, muscled just enough from the demands of his lab work; Newton’s tattooed chest, his rosy pink nipples; Newton’s pudgy stomach, his love handles; between Newton’s soft thighs, his perfectly sized–well–

Hermann forces himself to tear his eyes away as Newton climbs in across from him. They’re so close their knees knock together. “Wow,” Newton says, and wolf-whistles. “This is awesome.”

“Mm,” Hermann says. 

He chances a small glance over. Newton has slipped off his fogged-up glasses; his body is a colorful blur beneath the bubbling surface of the water, but his chest, and his chest piece, are on full display, and his head is titled back in such a way that his soft throat is bared in a way that Hermann might call sensual. How terribly lovely he is. How terribly light-headed Hermann feels from the hot water–surely it’s why, not even bothering to pretend he’s not ogling Newton, he blurts out “What a marvelous tattoo that is.”

Newton furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“Your tattoo,” Hermann says, and–for some reason–reaches out and grazes his hand down Newton’s sternum. He hears–no, feels–Newton’s breath catch in his throat. “It’s very interesting. I’ve never seen it properly before.”

Newton laughs nervously. “Oh,” he says. “I thought you hated my tattoos.”

“Of course I don’t,” Hermann says, and he’s surprised to find he means it. “I can’t say I approve of the subject material, but one would be a fool to deny their artistic value.” Hardly believing his own daring, he settles two fingers on Newton’s left pectoral, just above his nipple, and traces the edges of the great green kaiju’s head. “Was it terribly painful?”

“Nn,” Newton squeaks.

“Hm?” Hermann says. 

“No,” Newton says. He sounds breathless. “Hey, uh, you almost done–” The edge of Hermann’s thumb accidentally grazes his nipple, and Newton squeaks again, the rest of the sentence coming out in a high-pitched wheeze, “–uh, feeling me up?”

Mortified, and finally realizing exactly what it is he’s doing, Hermann snatches his hand away. “Ah–Newton–” he stammers, ears going hot, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” Newton chooses precisely the wrong moment to glance down. Difficult though it is to make out definite shapes through the water, there is no denying that Hermann’s swimming trunks are quite tented. Newton’s eyes widen. “Hermann?”

“Oh, hell,” Hermann says. He buries his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Newton, I didn’t mean–”

There are strong, calloused fingers on his wrists, prying his hands away, and Hermann opens his eyes to see Newton’s face above his, Newton kneeling in the vee of his legs. His breath is warm, and smells like the bottle of soda he bought at a vending machine in the airport. “I’m gonna kiss you,” he declares.

Hermann blinks.

Newton’s tongue–pink–darts out to wet his lower lip–pinker. He presses his mouth–soft–to Hermann’s. For a minute, they move awkwardly, chastely, against one another, stiffly, even, and then Newton gives a tentative swipe with his tongue at the seam of Hermann’s lips.

The floodgates of desire open within Hermann all at once. A filthy moan rises in the back of his throat; he seizes Newton’s shoulders, drawing him forward, closer, until their chests are flush together; his mouth parts open eagerly for Newton, and he draws Newton’s tongue forward with his own. “Newton,” he breathes out. Newton tastes like the soda, too–sugary, too-sweet. “Oh, Newton–”

Impatient, over-excited, Newton shoves his hand gracelessly down Hermann’s trunks and wraps around his prick. “Fuck,” he pulls away from their kiss to whine, “were you jerking off before I got here? That’s so fucking hot. God. What were you thinking about? Were you thinking about me?”

Hermann had not been jerking off, but if Newton’s libido will be stoked to greater heights with a little bit of flattery, he can’t see how a small lie could do any harm. “I was,” he says.

Newton begins to slide his hand up and down Hermann’s prick. He’s very skilled at it. The other hand, he settles at the back of Hermann’s neck. “Fuck. Were you thinking about doing me in here? Over the side? Or me doing you?”

“Er,” Hermann wheezes out. “Yes?”

Clearly pleased, Newton begins to wank him faster. “Guh,” he says. “Touch my chest again, that was so hot. Please, please–”

Hermann obliges gladly. He splays his hands over Newton’s pectorals, squeezing, and–once he realizes how terribly sensitive Newton’s nipples are, because twice now Hermann’s only grazed one and produced a full-body shiver in the man–focuses his onslaught on those instead. With every small pinch, Newton cries out. When Hermann lowers his head to take one in his mouth, Newton straddles his right thigh and begins humping his hard prick against it in earnest.

“That’s so debase,” Hermann pants into his chest, blushing. “Really, Newton, you ought to just let me use my hand.”

“Guh,” Newton whines again. “No, no, I want you to touch me instead.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere,” Newton says. “Anywhere, anywhere…”

His hand is flying over Hermann so fast it’s difficult to think, let alone to consciously grope and explore Newton’s body, but–resuming variably grazing his teeth and flicking his tongue over Newton’s nipples–Hermann obliges again, dragging his nails down Newton’s sturdy back, digging his fingers into the soft skin of Newton’s backside and kneading at him gently. Newton’s movements against his thigh turn graceless, and Hermann is excited to feel small slide of sticky precome on his skin before the churning water quickly washes it away.

“I’m gonna come,” Newton pants. His head is tossed back in wild abandon, the image of hedonistic pleasure. It’s a wonder he can even still formulate whole sentences: Hermann imagines if he were as overstimulated as Newton obviously is, he’d black out. The simple handjob is almost too much to bear. “Yeah, I’m gonna come, are you–?”

“Kiss me, and I will,” Hermann says.

Newton stoops down, mashing their mouths together happily, and light fizzles behind Hermann’s eyelids as he spills over Newton’s hand. Newton gives a few more needy thrusts against his thigh; his cry echoes off the bathroom walls, and Hermann feels more sticky warmth on his skin. He slumps on top of Hermann when he’s finished. He’s shaking.

Hermann pats his back. “Well done,” he says, weakly, and Newton giggles just as weakly. He could go for a nap, he thinks. Preferably with Newton curled up next to him. The twin bed will be a tight fit, but they’ll manage.

[eddiemfmunsonsgirl]

I have a huge soft spot for Argyle

Argyle would absolutely get high and just let you talk about your hyperfixation for hours

He's so confused when you keep repeating "Holy macaroni brochacho" after hearing him say it once but he's still supportive "hell yeah my dude" everytime you say it which leads to you repeating that too (we love echolocalia in this house)

Carries around earmuffs Incase there's too much noise (you don't even know where he got earmuffs from in California) & surfer boy pizza branded sunglasses in case it's too bright

memorizes all your food orders for you so you don't have to interact with the employees

he absolutely let's you turn the back of his surfer boy van into a safe space however you want (makes you a pizza shaped do not disturb sign if you like to be alone)

if you need space he's totally cool with it, just goes and vibes with Jonathan until you're in the mood to interact again

never makes you feel left out or weird if you're non verbal— he made his own set of flashcards to use instead of talking so you wouldn't be the only one (he's trying his best to be supportive) but he's only got like 10 cards and 5 are variations of dude/bro and 3 are asking you if you want pizza

he's not perfect you had your first meltdown around him and he didn't know what to do so he called Jonathan in a panic trying to figure out how to help "bro they said purple palm tree delight wouldn't fix this I'm running out of ideas!!" was absolutely relieved after everything settled and you explained what a meltdown was and what helps for you. it's still not purple palm tree delight

GIRL I DID'NT SEE YOU DID ARGYLE!?!?! OMG OK WAIT- I would love to see headcanons of him with an autistic s/o (social interaction challenges, repetitive behaviours like repeating words or gestures, sound sensitivity, specific interest in literature and an autism meltdown) ofc these are specific to me and you don't have to do this specific request but do read up on the national autistic society - i think you'll find ideas to help you write. Love you!

Yeah! I love Argyle I think he was such a cool addition to season 4, wish he got some more love!!! Also this is totally sfw btw <3 thank you for the request and as always, I love YOU more xx  🤗

⤷ female & ambiguous race reader 

𝐀𝐫𝐠𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

・Argye would be so supportive with your autism (and I’m not just saying that, I genuinely believe it.) 

・ Even if he didn’t completely understand it at first, I think he would care about you so much that he wanted to learn 

・ I can definitely see him and Jonathan researching everything about it (and this is before you guys got in a relationship. Like Argyle just had a crush on you at this point!)  

・ Like imagine them in the library, books scattered all over the table, Jonathan on the computer while Argyle is trying to find more books from the shelves. And he’s getting frustrated:

 “Dude why do they have like, no books that go into detail about autism??” And Jonathan looks over at him with a slight smile because he’s happy that Argyle is actually working towards something useful for once.   

・Approaching you by himself because he didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed if Jonathan was there

・He loves it when you talk about your interests. I finds your passion so enthralling!

・Knows your triggers and you guys have talked about what to do when you are triggered. If it’s because of bright lights or loud/sudden sounds etc. 

・If you’re scared of feeling weird around him, DO NOT. He values uniqueness and individualism like no other

・Wherever your safe place is, whether that’s your room, his van, the library, park, etc he would love to hang out there as well

・Also Jonathan knows what to do as well. I just feel like you would fit into their dynamic really really well

・Your love of literature is something that Argyle loves to encourage. Whatever you’re reading or researching, he would literally adore it if you told him about it. I think he would’ve been so good in English class if he’d just applied himself 

・I don’t think he would react if you were repeating words, he’d just get used to it. And if it’s a comfort then he would take extra notice if you’re feeling uncomfortable

・Always having something weighted in his van to calm you down whether it be a blanket, a toy etc

・Not EVER making you feel uncomfortable; he would be so vigilant not to upset you that at one point you had to tell him to calm down

・He worries about you when you’re not with him

・I actually think Argyle would be super protective but not want to show it to freak you out

[smallghostcorner]

Little Eddie x cg reader (fem version)

Cw: mentions of Argyle being high and weed

Summary: you and the gang (including Argyle and Johnathan) come over to smoke but Eddie is regressed and you all baby him instead.

You and the gang walk up to Eddies trailer, you knock but get no answer.

You try the door and its unlocked.

"That seems kinda weird dudes" Argyle points out already high.

You just nod and head inside.

You notice the tv on and playing cartoons and you can hear shuffling and slight giggles coming from the back of the trailer.

"You guys wait here I'll find eds"

You scurry off to Eddies bedroom, you see him sitting on his bed in a pair of shorts and a soft band tee shirt with some knee high socks and before you even see the pacifier hanging out of his mouth you know he's regressed.

"Mama!" he shouts excitedly when he sees you and makes grabby hands for you.

"Hey little guy" you say as you pick him up and set him on your hip. (buff fem reader cuz i said so)

"The others are here is that okay?" you want to make sure your baby is comfortable before bringing him out.

He nods at you and you exit his bedroom.

When you come back out to the living room the gangs a little confused as to why you're holdong him.

You quickly explain age regression to them and they surprisingly seem to catch on quickly.

Steve is the first one to get it and offers to get Eddie a snack and a sippy cup of juice.

You thank him as you set Eddie down on the floor and rush back to his room to grab a few toys for him to play with.

When you return from his room for a second time you see Eddie enjoying the bowl of cup up fruit and cereal Steve made him while Nancy lets him play with her fingers.

"Hey little man i brought you some of your toys to play with when you finish your snack" you say to him as you set down his favorite stuffie (a pink teddy bear named rarity) a teething ring and a set of soft blocks.

He looked over at you but seemed more interested in his game with Nancys fingers.

------time skip-----

Everyone was having a good time despite the night not going how they planned, Nancy had brought a book to read, Robin and Steve were arguing about something or another in a friendly banter kind of way and you and Jonathan were entertaining Eddie.

You didn't know were Argyle went but you have a feeling he went outside for some purple palm tree delight.

When Argyle came back in his eyes were red rimned and he seemed a lot more chill.

When Eddie saw him again he made grabby hands towards him.

"What's up my tiny brochaco?" Agyle asked him.

"Haiw pwetty" Eddie responded touching Argyles hair.

"You wanna play with it my little dude?" Argyle asked taking off his hat.

"I can?" Eddies eyes lit up like a chirstmas tree.

Eddie stars to run his fingers through Argyles hair being careful not to pull on it.

He does a few braids before he starts to rub his eyes and yawn.

"I think it's nap time for a little somebody" you say starting to stand up.

"I could go for a nap right now too" Argyle says also yawning.

"nap togefer mama? Please?" Eddie gives you his best puppy dog eyes and you give in this time after all he's still gonna nap.

"Ok but only this once"

Eddie and Argyle both cheer. Argyle gets up on the couch and lays down, Eddie crawls over and lays on top of him.

They're both out in a matter of minutes and you just laugh at them.